


Demon's Beware

by LadyHypatia



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Cute, Gen, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), POV Outsider, The Arrangement (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:41:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22780429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyHypatia/pseuds/LadyHypatia
Summary: Aziraphale is so cute that it causes even the evilest demons to fall in love.*fluff
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 229





	1. The Wily Fool

'This could not be correct' thought Beelzebub as she looked over the latest. 'This was most definitely a mistake.'

Beelzebub was sitting in her office, going through temptation reports. While not necessary for her to read through each one, she enjoyed the torment of humans too much not to at least skim over the happenings of earth.

The humans were so easily fooled into doing the wrong thing, and once they fell into one, they would only fall into the next and the next till their souls were blacked with it.

However, Beelzebub did make a note of unsuccessful temptations, so that the demon responsible could be properly reprimanded. Which is why this report puzzled her so.

  
**Date:1452**

**Assignment to: Demon Crowley**   
**Temptation no. 193078982.a**

**The temptation of Johannes Gutenberg**

**Summary:**

**Printing Bibles; What a stupid idea.**

**A freaking angel sweeps in the last hour with the proposition of a wonderful business idea. ~~Like the angels have any idea at all about running a business.~~** ~~~~

**All that work to convinced Gutenberg to go ahead with the peculiar idea of this new contraption. All that work of** g **etting him the funds from his brother in law to give him money to open his shop.**

**Not to mention the work beforehand to get all the pieces in place. I knew that one day those humans were going to invent something that was faster than those old scribes. Humans are too knowledge-hungry for their own good, to have the patience for waiting for knowledge. And knowledge in the wrong hands is a sweet victory indeed.**

**And just when everything is going right, I turn around and this angel has persuaded Gutenberg about economic pursuits of _printing and selling religious texts._ ~~I don’t think angels even understand human economics.~~** ~~~~

**~~Now I can’t even get close to the shop to undo all this without the risk of being burned!~~ ** ~~~~

**This may still be turned into favor for our Lord. For these religious texts have been greatly covered by the scholars and guarded fiercely by the church wankers. If I can get one of these scholars to raise questions on the church teaching, there may turn in our favor.**

One of the best demons? Impossible, Inconceivable, a ... an error ...

  
Yes, it had to be an error. For how could this demon be outdone by an angel in this way?

If there was one thing a demon could rely on was that angels were not subtle. They did not even know the meaning of subtle.

When angels came to earth like a storm. All uptight holy light and smiting everything remotely devious. Which, if the rumors were true, sometimes included entire civilizations. 

Setting down the report, Beelzebub leaned back into her chair and faced the hearth. With a quick snap the fire lit, and the door was locked. The other demons knew not to disturb her, but she was in no mood to punish some imbecile that managed bypass her secretary. 

Crowley had been working for their lord since the beginning since the first war in heaven. He was one of their best agents, seldom did he fail in delivering. Although his methods were unconventional, there was no denying he got results.

He was the one that had caused Adam and Eve to be thrown out of the garden. 'Her' greatest creation, made in 'her' image, cast out just like they were.

It was a fantastic win for all of hell. Granted, what he did to get them cast out was something Beelzebub did not know. It must have been truly something terrible to have caused them to have been kicked out. For they were special, above even the angels. Look at here humans now, how pathetic.

For an angel to have caught him off guard was something she could not imagine. This angel would have to be taken care if it was going to mess up hell’s plans.

Crowley had asked to stay on earth as a permanent agent. In which Beelzebub granted. It would not hurt to have a demon up their causing trouble on a full-time basis.

Not many demons wanted to stay on earth after their assignments were done, preferring the comforts of a warm hellfire, brimstone homes, and the torture of souls. 

In truth, Beelzebub was thankful that he had chosen to stay on earth. Crowley enjoyed causing strife wherever he goes, as all demons should, however, this includes their domain. When he was not causing trouble for the humans, he was playing with the other demons.

Beelzebub would not care if it was not for the complaints from the other departments written in triplicate on the loss of torturing productivity this demon caused. Or the angry demons knocking down her door to yell complaints on the said demon. Or Crowley himself sauntered into her office at all hours and asking annoying questions. Even in the seven circles of hell that man-shaped being had absolutely no boundaries. 

In one particular incident in the 400 BC, where Crowley had been waiting on a new body, he had glued shiny pieces of metal to the floor in one of the doorways. This caused no less than 38 injures as demons tripped over imps sending them tumbling down stairways. 

If Crowley had not chosen to go back up, she would assign him there herself out of pure self-preservation. 

This led to a very particular problem. Beelzebub did not want to recall Crowley back to hell for his failure in handling one angel. She knew that he could turn the situation favorable, probably already was, and she would like him stationed on the earth if possible.

Yet, if this angel could so easily undermine a powerful demon’s plans then it would have to be handled.

Beelzebub sat, staring into the hellfire for what felt like an eternity. 

If one demon could not handle one angle, then maybe she could send up another. Most of the other demons were content to stay down here until an assignment came up, meaning there were plenty of demons to send. However, if one overplayed one’s hand it could backfire, and heaven would avenge their comrade. It would not due to start Armageddon early before all the pieces are in place. 

This situation needed a delicate hand and much more planning. Beelzebub needed more information on this angle. A spy was needed, someone to slip unnoticed by even another demon and get more information on this angel.

Then and only then, would she make her move, and send this angel away.

Mind made up she turned back to her desk to start on the paperwork in sending up her most cunning demon.

**One week later**

Beelzebub was in her office looking over paperwork. In truth, she pretending to be doing paperwork in order to get some peace and quiet. Her paperwork had long been taken care of but no one would dare question her on what she was doing.

Beelzebub was just beginning to relax with a plate of her favorite sweet wine.

So, of course, Naberius chose this moment to bust in without knocking.

Her irritation only grew as he gave her no greeting or awareness of where he was. His three heads continued incoherently babble to himself as he paced in her office. Wetness ran down his face. Tears? She did not even know it was possible for demons to cry.

Getting over her shock, Beelzebub stood up and commanded, “ZIT DOWN AT ONZE!”

All three heads shot up and stared at her with round canine eyes as if they had forgotten she was there. Before she could let her displeasure been known, he complied. All heads lowering to stare down at the ground.

“now ezzplane to mee why you felt it wize to barge into my office when you are zzhould be on earth trailing an angel?” She let the buzzing intensify around her threateningly and felt a thrill when the demon started to tremble. 

Naberius opened one mouth then closed it again before the head on the right said softly “the wiles of a demon do not work on this angel.”

Beelzebub sat back in her chair and stared daggers into the demon sitting across from her.

After a long pause with no further words, she finally spits out “Ezzplain?” 

The right head started in a timid voice, “I tracked down the angel by the scent of peace and wellbeing."

"I was very careful in following the angel," added the left.

"I did everything right! I used no miracles of my own! I should not have been noticed." The middle head wailed. 

There was a long pause as their ears flattened, "The earth is very difficult to navigate.”

“I was right behind the angel when I fell, and the next thing I know the angle is right next to me.”

The panic rises in the demon’s eyes, “I thought I was done for!”

Naberius pauses before saying in his raucous voice, “but then it just led me inside of a building. Going on an on at how no being should be out in this weather without proper protection.”

“It gave me a blanket and made a fire,” the left added. “it let me sit, as it made me a hot drink.”

“After I finished the drink, it handed me human clothing. Then let me to the door and told me to not be too rough with the humans as they were fragile.”

Now there was a long pause, was Beelzebub tried and failed to ignite this demon with fire using her eyes.

The effort was wasted as Naberius was looked down onto his lap. Beelzebub now took notice of the colorful coat the demon was wearing and the way he seemed to be cuddling into it.

“Let mee get this ztraight,” Beelzebub said breaking the silence, “you were zpotted by your target right away?”

After a hesitant nod, she went on. “This angel did not try to zmite you?”

Another nod.

“This angel then proceeedz to invite you in, make you a cup of tea, and chat with you.”

This time there were three nods in the affirmative.

“And it knew what you are?” her tone had turned from threatening to generally curious. 

“YES!” cried the demon dissolving into more tears. “It sat me next to a fire and told me that a demon should know that it needs to bundle up as hell is much warmer than earth especially during this time of year.”

The demon paused and said so quietly that she almost misses it, “it made me feel loved.” Then the demon dissolved in uncontrolled sobbing.

Beelzebub put her head in her hands rubbing at her now throbbing temples. She was going to have to fill out the documentation for an emotionally compromised demon; a long and cumbersome document of hell's own making to discourage any demon from filling one out.

And she still had no solution to the problem of the angel on earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed as much as I enjoyed writing it.   
> I appreciate all the kudos, comments, and suggestions. 
> 
> I have edited Chapter 1, however, I am not the best at grammar, so anything I missed please let me know.   
> Thank you so much for those who gave me comments already. I hope this chapter has gotten better.  
> The next chapter will be up soon.


	2. Taming of the fairies

If going quietly in gathering information was not going to work, then Beelzebub would try a new strategy. This time she would be much more aggressive in her approach with this angel.

All that added paperwork this angel had caused her could make any demon a bit vindictive. But this was a matter of pride, for no angel should be able out maneuver a demon, much less two.

If there was even a rumor in hell of such an angel on earth, earth would not have to wait for Armageddon.

Demons often got themselves discorporated due to angles all the time, they even got completely destroyed, but never out witted. 

This could not go on, this angel had to be sent back up to heaven.

Beelzebub also wanted a bit of revenge.

She had to be careful not to go overboard and cause heaven to come looking. Especial right now when the there was such powerful men so easily swain. 

Which is why she had picked this demon for the job.

The perfect demon for the job, could hardly be called demon at all.

All preparations had already been made and explicit instructions had been given. All Beelzebub had left to do was sit back and monitor the demons and make sure they did their job.

Beelzebub had sent up imps. Something that was not to bloodthirsty to cause too much damage, but destructive enough to disrupt any _good_ , and hopefully frustrate the angel enough to leave.

She was under no illusion that any angel could not handle a couple of imps.

Imps were annoying little sprites that could hardly be called a demon. Constantly underfoot, and none too bright.

However, imps did have the knack of causing chaos. They could also be easily replaced, if the angel decided to destroy one.

And best off all was that she could watch the whole thing through their eyes.

The little buggers were instructed to play as many pranks as they pleased on the angel.

And she was going to watch. She could feel the sweet revenge from all that dreadful paperwork on the tip of her tongue as she watched the angel on the screen.

The angel looked to be exactly like all the other angels she ever came across minus the golden armor. It made the angel look softer, less glaringly bright somehow. 

The angel was in front of hill were the humans were making some a stone building. She could already see the shimmering holiness surrounding the stone bricks.

The angel looked to be listening to some human in expensive cloth. The angel had put down its bag and was looked at the papers drawn out between them.

Although the angel looked to be paying attention, there was a slight glassy dullness in its eyes.

As she watched one of the imps appeared on a tree branch over the angel’s head.

‘Oh, this was going to be excellent,’ thought Beelzebub.

The imp materialized an apple before dropped a rotten apple on angel’s head before disappearing. The angel jumped and looked up into the tree, its eyes searching, and a frown forming. The imp appeared again this time next to the angle, grabbed the angel’s bag and was gone again without the angel any wiser.

Beelzebub could feel the smile on stretch onto her face, making a nearby imps scuttle away. This could work out better than she could ever hope.

Beelzebub decided she was owed a sweet treat in her success in taking care of this troublesome angel.

With that thought she left her office.

If Beelzebub had stayed a little longer to watch, she may have noticed the small smile started to play on the angel’s lips and a twinkle formed in those blue eyes. 

* * *

It was weeks later that Beelzebub even noticed that anything at all strange was happening. Long enough that the matter of the angel was not on her mind.

The angel had been mostly forgotten after the novelty of watching juvenile pranks played wore off. She felt that it was time to focus on _her_ other tasks, since the angel was clearly being distracted from its tasks.

It was during the bi-century head management meeting that she first noticed anything out of the ordinary happing. However, she would not correlate this strange happening to the pesky angel for a few more months.

Beelzebub sat with her elbow on the chair arms, her posture slumped back. She mentally thanked Lucifer for the mandatory time restriction of two hours max, as these meetings tended to digress into pissing contests. Not that she would ever say such endearments to Lucifer out loud.

Mammon's voice currently washed over her. He was going on and on about this great plan of Indulgences; something about Catholics priests asking for money. She did know or care.

Beelzebub much preferred the simple beauty of dry cropland and rotting animals. She loved the complicity abundant years brought on the powerful. She adored having the powerful feast while the workers starved. Most of all she loved how easily civilization toppled by uprising peasants, who blamed their woes on the current government.

But ever since the first churches began to spread across Europe a cold war had been simmering between heaven and hell in the influence on the upper church members.

The humans so easily follow without question, believing that _holy_ men could do no wrong, meanwhile leading them so astray. 

Belphegor was already asleep. He was sprawled out on a large pillowed chair, with every snore little sparks flew out his nose.

Although Leviathan’s large green eyes were open, she could not tell if he was paying attention or sleeping. His large body was curled up like a snake, with his head resting on top of one coil 

Lucifer was paying attention, sitting upright in pristine tailored clothing. He had a small smile playing on his lips. This was either a good or a very bad for Mammon. There was no way of knowing with his mood swings.

Beelzebub motioned for the imp behind her to bring her a plate of pastries. The tray appeared promptly at her side and she took it with only a sidewise glance.

‘Pink…’

She turned back to the meeting, popping a one honey covered bread into her mouth, she found herself being distracted by that random thought.

‘Pink?’ She turned her head back to the imp. 

The imp was wearing a pink jumper.

She looked around and spotted different colors dotted around; blue, green, yellow….

‘Why the hell were the imps in jumpers?’ she thought absently. 

Strange but not something that needed her immediate attention.

(On latter inspection Beelzebub would think back on this moment and despair choosing to not pay attention to the imps, but that was a headache for the future.)

Beelzebub focused back on the meeting when Asmodeus raised his voice.

**“ _LUST_ is by far a greater temptation than gold _,_ you moron!”**

**“The love of GOLD has led to far more strife than _All_ temptations of flesh!”** Mannon said with a smug smile on his face.

Beelzebub gave an audible sigh and slumped further into her chair, ‘so the dick measuring contest was starting already, _how wonderful.’_

She could see Belphegor wake and give a lazy stretch. Having been disturbed from his beauty sleep from the yelling.

Belphegor, caught her eye, gave her a half shrug and smile as if he read her thoughts. 

**“Far _More_ humans have fallen in the sin of lust, and lust has led them into far greater sin than any shinny trinket could do,”** Asmodeus shot back **, “Have you forgotten Paris of Troy _already_? I Won that bet.”**

‘not Troy again.’ Beelzebub gave another long sigh.

Lucifers' eyes were lighting up, which was never a good sign. 

**"Asmodeus did start the war, but who was it that caused the fall of Rome?"** Lucifer said in a cool collected voice and a shit-eating grin. 

'Maybe it was time for her to get away from the humdrum of paperwork and these three. Maybe she should visit earth again, she heard France was nice.'

* * *

‘Where was that imp?’ Beelzebub thought, currently souring in her office.

‘Had Belphegor somehow infected them?’

She had sent that imp hours ago. How hard was it to collect paperwork, pick up her new jacket, get her lunch, and deliver the memos?

The imps lately were becoming more and more unreliable, often disappearing to who knows where. Sometimes not appearing back for days.

Her door cracked open and the imp scurried in with her tray of meat.

She saw a green pointed hat bob up and down as the imp scuttled in.

‘finally,’ she was starving.

_It all came to a head the following month._

It started as she was going into her office.

Her secretary stopped her, “Your highness, I’ve got an urgent message saying the imps are acting strange.” 

Beelzebub looked back, “What do you mean Ztrange?”

“They are refusing to come back.”

‘Could none of the other demons handle a couple of imps on their own?’

“Fine, tell them I am on my way,” She promptly stormed out and headed to the upper floors of hell.

On the upper floors she walked into the office to discover that it was almost empty looking. There were the assortment of offices and demons writing away on desks, but no imps could be seen scurrying about.

It was almost too eerily silent without them in the halls, like the calm before the storm.

She walked into the department’s managers office. He immediately stopped his pacing and bowed to her when she came in. 

“Whaz is the izzue?” Beelzebub buzzed.

“Most of the imps are upstairs, and we have no one to pick up their jobs, Madam.” This demon said in a small voice. They was ringing his multiple pairs of hands anxiously.

Beelzebub fronted “Why are the upZtairs?”.

“Your orders, Madam” the demon said even more quietly. They were visibly shrinking away from her.

“What!?” Beelzebub shouted, “I gave no such orders!”

The office manager simply handed over a file that had been sitting on the desk.

She opened it.

It was the orders for the angel given directly to the office of job assignment. It stated that it was to send up an imp to disrupt the angel and if the imp came back or was not heard from to send another.

Beelzebub could feel the growing realization settling around her shoulders like a wet blanket.

With a quick movement of her hand, she had screen to show through the imp’s eyes.

The screen was so bright that it took her a few minutes to adjust to the light. But there was no mistaking what she saw. There in the middle of a lush green forest sat the angel surrounded by imps.

Most of the imps were laying on the ground or in tree limbs. Some looked to be making the flowers grow or playing on instruments. Some were chasing each other around the grove of trees.

The sheer number of demons, even as low power as these, should drive off any holy being. Instead, that angel sat as calmly as if on one of heaven’s clouds.

The angel was looked to be absently making something with two long needles and a ball of string, as its eyes moved over what looked to be a book.

One of the imps distracted it by placing a crown made of colorful leaves and flowers in the shape of crown on top of the angel’s head. In response the angel gave blinding smiled at the imp. Beelzebub had to look away from the screen for the dots to disappear.

The angel then held up a small triangle hat in the same green as the ball of string. In turn, the imp smiled right back and presented its head and allowed the angel to put on this strange pointed hat. Many of the imps were wearing similarly pointed hats or colorful jumpers.

Just then a nasty smile came over one of the other demons and it launched itself at imp with a new hat talking it to the ground.

Instead of seeming at all bothered by this display of violence, the angel calmly picked up this responsible imp by the scruff of its neck turning it around.

All the other imps had stopped what they were doing and were looking towards the angel. The angel and imp looked eye to eye. The angel was frowning but there was no sign of anger.

The tension was broken not a minute later when this imp started to cry loudly. Big tears falling to the ground, as it wailed.

The imp’s cries were stopped as soon as the angel leaned forward kissed it on the nose, and the imp looked up with bright eyes. The angel gave another bright smile and scrunched up its nose. Then the angel scooped the imp and set it into its lap.

The other imps resumed what they were doing, and the angel continued with the long needles and ball of string, this time with an imp curled up on its lap.

Beelzebub looked away blinking the spots out of her eyes ‘dam angles and their holy brightness.’

“How is that even possible?” she mused out loud.

‘that angel had defeated the entire army of imps.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any suggestions or things you think I should add or liked this fic please leave comments.  
> I appreciate hearing from the fandom community and encouraged by your love. I enjoy adding elements of the myth and history and I hope people enjoyed the section on the seven princes of hell.

**Author's Note:**

> There is a worm that infects all humans. This worm lives in the human ears and it feeds off of language, both oral and written. These worms are mostly harmless, and most humans like healthy happy lives with them. That is until it finds a song it likes or a story they want.   
> Then they become pests to there host, bugging them until they replay that song or find that passage in that book. And if it somehow does not exist yet, bug them until they create it. 
> 
> Please comment below on everything and anything.


End file.
